4 Things I learned from my labor
It’s crazy to think that it’s been almost 3 months since I gave birth to our son Stone. It definitely wasn’t the birth I had planned for however it is everything that I had prayed for. I go into full detail of my birth story over on my podcast ( You can Listen to my Podcast Here: Apple : Spotify). While my labor was nothing short of eventful, there were many things that I learned during the birth of Stone that I hold close to now as a mother.
1. Women giving birth in movies… FULL ON LIE!!
I worked in a hospital for 4 years where I would work on almost every floor. From ER to OR and everything in between… Iv’e seen a large portion of what goes down in a hospital.) Ive been in the rooms of women at the beginning of their labor, right as the baby was sliding out, and even shadowed multiple c-sections to know exactly how to do the proceeder. However, I had never seen the middle process of labor. I can honestly say… I was expecting more. I was expecting the screaming for every hour of labor. I was expecting the beads of sweat running down my face from how TERRIBLE the contractions were going to be. Yeah. None of that happened.
Reality, you are a bit uncomfortable for a max of a minute-ish at a time and then you are chill for couple more minutes and then you are back at it again to some more contractions. For most of the labor, you are able to talk, walk, dance, do whatever your heart is feeling. The movies make it seem like you are gonna die with how terrible the pain is. Im not sure if they do this to scare individuals away from having kids or what… but seriously! Every natural drug free contraction was bearable.
2. Who you marry / who your childs father is matters
Ive always known how lucky I am to have my husband as…. well my husband. However, I was reminded greatly how special he was during my labor.
I was in Labor for 3 1/2 days. Yes you read that right. 3 days at home and 1/2 in the hospital (more details of all of that on my podcast). He was there for me every step of my labor. From when my water broke to when Stone came into the world. He never once left my side. Through out all the laboring at home, my midwife and doula continued to say how incredible my husband was. How they have never seen a husband by their wife TRULY every step of labor. They said most men tap out after a couple of hours. Lucas and I both looked at each other wide eyed and thought… REALLY!? In every hour of labor I would say a silent prayer to God thanking him for blessing me with Lucas. He was my rock through out ever step and I really don’t know what I would have done with out him there.
Ladies who are dating or looking for a husband. If the man you are currently with isn’t going to love you and say “you are so beautiful” after you poop all over the hospital bed due to pushing for 3 hours… he isn’t good enough for you.
DO NOT SETTLE to fill empty position with a warm body. Be patient. Be Single. And Be Picky!
3. Emotions That You Haven’t Felt For Years Come Out
There have been many times leading up to my labor of the thought that I won’t be a good mother. I think it’s a thought most women have, especially when having their first child. Something that I was NOT expecting to come out was the crushing struggle of abandonment.
For the past year I have been going to therapy every Monday to process a lot of childhood trauma that I had never really got through. Once I found out I was pregnant, I continued to go to therapy regularly as my Midwife warned me that trauma that you have struggled with in the past can come flooding to you due to hormones… and boy they came FLOO-DING!!
The trigger of being abandon by my father was something that flared up a lot when Stone was born. I looked at him and thought to myself “how can anyone leave their children.” Then it would hit me… I was a child once left by their father. How could he do that to me!? Was I not good enough to stick around for? Was there something wrong with me that made him want to leave? These were thoughts and still are things that I am processing to this day.
My advice… (you didn’t ask for it,,, but you are reading this blog post so you signed up for it :D ) GO TO THERAPY and process through those emotions and those feelings prior brining your child into the world.
4. Use Your Voice + Advocate For Yourself
3 weeks after I gave birth to Stone I had a wedding that I was doing makeup for. Yes…. I went back to work 3 weeks after Stone was born because rookie move… I thought I was going to give birth ON my due date… Apparently that’s not how that works. I asked one of the bridesmaids what is the best advice you have for a new mom. She said something that I think every single person needs to hear.
”You are your child’s only advocate. If you don’t stand up for them… no one will”
It brought me back directly to me having to advocate for myself when the Dr. and nurses were trying to do things I did not want done to me in the hospital as well as standing up to my first Dr. after he said I was a FAILURE as a women because I was unable to give birth naturally. (I go more in-depth on that conversation on my Podcast).
You bet your bottom dollar I stood up for myself! Especially after 3 full days of labor with no medical intervention… I was running thin on patience. The fact that he had the balls to tell me that I had failed… I ripped him a new one.
Do NOT be afraid to use your voice and stand up for yourself for the way you would like to be treated during your labor. The Positive Birthing Company has great tools the helped prepare me for making sure my birth plan was known to all medical care providers I would have during my time at the hospital.
Every birth is different and every birth is beautiful. Be in the moment (as much as you can). You will learn a lot about yourself and will find a whole new strength within you through out the process.
- Lizzie
